Things have been improving for Kohen lately, as his leg is feeling much better. He’s also been handling the chemotherapy fairly well.
The time spent in the hospital, however, has been weighing heavily on him and his mommy. Especially when they expect to be coming home on a certain day, only to be delayed by a day or two (turning a long hospital stay into a longer hospital stay) . When this happens it makes it very hard on them, as they are missing home so badly.
This past week Kohen and Mommy were gone from Tuesday morning till Sunday night. They were home for about 36 hours before having to leave for the hospital again this Tuesday morning. We are trying to face this one day at a time, but when we consider we’re only one sixth of the way through his chemo, it seems like the road is so long, we’ll never get through it.
You go though so many emotions, and experience so many different feelings, when your child is battling cancer. None of which, of course, you’re ever truly prepared for.
One of the things that cuts me to the heart (besides Kohen’s suffering and the weight of this whole matter) is when people sacrifice on Kohen’s behalf. Whether it be their time, money, or resources, it all breaks me.
We’ve been touched by the countless people who’ve extended their desires to assist our family: everything from offers to deliver food, offers to babysit, and offers to borrow their car. Yet, even though it’s a blessing to have so many offers of help, we usually never ask for that help or redeem those offers. It’s a weird position to be in: to need such help, but not being willing to accept it. (And currently, the help we need most is emotional support as this ordeal is taking its toll on all of us.)
Of course, there’s no way we could have gotten this far without the tremendous amount of help we’ve already received from family, friends, and strangers, but beyond the absolutely necessary, we tend to simply manage it all the best we can as we attempt to traverse most of this journey by ourselves. Some may say it’s because we’re too proud to ask for help, but that’s not it at all. We simply understand that people are busy, they have their own lives and their own concerns, and we simply don’t want to be a burden.